after stepping into the corporate world, seeing so many other things, gone through many ups and downs in life, i realise i am not who i am now.. all of us are being forced to grow up, to face things that are so disgusting, dont wanna do it yet bo bian..
it's very stressful esp when other people's performance rating is in my hands.
i know i am not those kind who can be a good leader cos i simply dont like to take my rank and education to 'teh' ppl. i hate it..
but my supervisor wants to me to do it, if not ppl will start climbing over me. ok whatever, pls climb.. sad to say, i am not ambitious.. not at all. and i know this will be my career derailer, but how? i want back my school days, ok impossible.. just whining can or not.
sometimes i really hope to just die, ok no i dont have any suicidal thots dont worry. only hope for a sec, after that no more le, prob cos limei told me gracious aires has got new arrival. HAHAHAHAHA
nah, dont choy. death is not a taboo to me. everyone will leave one day.. it's precisely cos ppl scared of death that's why they buy insurance, therefore means they prepared to go anytime.. my mum better than me, she already bought those 'spaces' for my whole family.. haha so fast right.. everything is fated, like how much money i will have in my life, it's already predestined. that's why i dont believe in buying toto, 4d..
i stand by my beliefs that if i do strike, God will at the same time take sth away from me.. nah not worth it.
since we are on the topic of this, why not i make my wish clear also lah.
in case anything happens to me, i do not want a 'grand' funeral. sometimes i dont agree with what the chinese are doing..
do a funeral spend so much, do so many days, hello it's a sad
occasion leh.
but for joyous events like weddings only celebrate one day -_-
to me, once a person leaves, just do a wake for max 1 day, those who are genuinely my friends/relatives, they will cancel everything and come to my wake right away.. after that cremate then pray abit then done. in this aspect, i prefer what the malays are doing. for weddings make it noisy, let EVERYONE know; for death, just wrap the body, whoever wanna come pay their last respects, they will go to the house, followed by burial - all within a day, and no noise at all..
for us chinese, it's the direct opposite.. sometimes just think, does it make sense? but all the above are purely my thinking, no offence to anyone. i cant change the way ppl think, but for me i dont want all the nonsense when i die lah, all do within one day then move on. no point making the ppl beside me so worn out and spend so much.. money is not meant to be spent this way. i rather it be donated than let the funeral services co. earn.
but like what i said, no disrespect to anyone, so dont ostracise me. hahaha
wah my random thots damn alot lah.. cos this kind of thing i tell ppl they also wont listen, so i type here lor..
and now that the 7th month is here.. i dont really like cos i cant breathe in alot of incense smoke cos i will feel 'high' - i fainted before from this smoke; my eyes will be super dry, ashes everywhere, literally.
again, i still respect ppl's religion,
but do remember my wish ah
=)
