i am glad i did something smart today.. i shall not say what it is, but i got the answer i hope to get when i decided to talk about it.. previously i was afraid of many things, like hearing sth that would make me sad, cos i dont like to feel sad.. and i know it pains him to see my sad as well, that's why i chose to keep it to myself until i find the courage i needed to approach it.. but well everything's solved. YEAH!!
i seem self-sacrificing, but it's just that i tend to think ALOT, and he knows it.. and i think far, so i rather think of the problem myself first, then when i feel it's ready to talk then i talk lah.. but maybe next time i should just talk straightaway and stop thinking abt it for days, or even months, cos like today, if i had approached it earlier i would have spared myself the misery.. i felt stupid *slaps myself* hahahaha.
i seem self-sacrificing, but it's just that i tend to think ALOT, and he knows it.. and i think far, so i rather think of the problem myself first, then when i feel it's ready to talk then i talk lah.. but maybe next time i should just talk straightaway and stop thinking abt it for days, or even months, cos like today, if i had approached it earlier i would have spared myself the misery.. i felt stupid *slaps myself* hahahaha.
cant blame me also.. i tend to keep to myself cos i dont want to bother others with my problems.. i remembered when i was in sec sch my band teacher said i am a 'very difficult to reach' girl, whatever that means? maybe she meant i 难以琢磨.. she cant read my mind.. but hello if she can read my mind then bbz.. haha
what is a boyfriend for right? in future i shall not hesitate to tell him everything.. cos now i believe by communicating everything can be solved.. the feeling of getting a load off my mind is much better than getting 'A' for exams.. seriously. it's weird that that thing previously on my mind is now GONE. so i feel freaking happy.. oh ya and a bf is for bullying as well =)
it goes to show how loving someone very much can do wonders.. pat enlightened me that night, she said i was too afraid of losing him.. *ding ding ding* 100% correct, she hit the nail on the head. that's why last time if got anything i dont say to him, fear of losing someone.. and probably still not used to it.. seriously i know i think too much and think alot.. but that's me.. i know myself.. OK, sarah ho from today onwards confide in ur boy.. he will definitely help you cos he is supposed to. (later he say i take him for granted again)
i just want to apologise to the boy for making him worry. cos i know when he reads my previous post he sure come and ask me about it.. and sorry for looking damn sian that saturday night, my fault.
so ppl, if u have any problems, must talk it out ok? dont keep it to urself and feel miserable for nothing.. talk to family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever.. talk face to face better, highest in information richness <-- mb106 stuff.. haha
now my ONLY worry is FYP.. shitty piece of shit. and i am definitely not gonna spare the boy too.. haha i think next 2 sems i will throw tantrums, turn violent if i feel stressful..he is in for it already.. HAHAHA. if i want to cry i will look for you, if i want to grumble and complain i will look for you.. later he become more stressed up than me.. ok lah boy joking only.. u dont avoid me when u see me ah.. later i go ur hall find u then u always not in.. you say you will be the good bf and go thru hard times with me right? i believe you
vonie i am still waiting for the sentosa pics.. i wanna post the ANTM ones. 我要被发觉!!
*desperate*
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